Totally Not GG
GUN TEAM HIT THIS ENCOUNTER DURING THE VERY FIRST GAMBIT, BUT IT’S HILARIOUS AND I THINK WE SHOULD KEEP IT
“This is my fishin’ hole”
Scout by Land or Air (no DC): There is a hill giant with a preposterously large fishing rod sitting at the edge of the lake. He is singing drunkenly and swigging from what appears to be an outhouse uprooted from the ground and filled with foul alcohol. A number of large, bloodstained rocks lie near to him, suggesting that he doesn’t take kindly to other people.
“‘Dis mah seekrit fishin’ hole!” Gurstug the hill giant cries out, the moment he sees the PCs (if they stealth effectively, that’s another situation entirely). “You gitcher own!” He opens up by throwing rocks, as much as a deterrent as anything, but the moment that the PCs respond with lethal force he moves to melee and enters rage. He can also be placated with a DC 25 diplomacy, but then the PCs will not retrieve his loot. He does however, comment that “thurs somtin in mah watahs whats all shiny and scurrin the fishus” He refuses to retrieve it because he is afraid of the deep water. In this friendly state, Gurstug can serve as a fantastic early-warning if the PCs make camp, although if he is involved in a PC-vs-PC battle he tends to forget who is who and just attacks whomever is closest.
Gurstug (1, takes a -2 penalty on all 20 rolls and a -2 on armor AC): http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/unique-monsters/cr-13/hill-giant-chieftain-hill-giant-barbarian-6
(the shiny object at the bottom of the lake is a Gem of Brightness
Gurstug himself wears a belt of giant strength +2, a large +2 breastplate, an amulet of natural armor +1, a cloak of resistance +1, and wields a large +2 greatclub.
In addition, Gurstug once accidentally sat in a dragon horde and crushed a vial of sovereign glue, leaving a medium-sized +2 bashing heavy steel shield stuck to his ass. It’s possible to carve it off, but leaves foul-smelling meat stuck to the shield’s face.
Gurstug’s bag contains 8 rocks, 6 pearls worth 100 gp each, a stone of alarm, a large tent, a donkey’s rotted torso, and a masterwork bastard sword.
A tuna of truly epic size sits next to Gurstug, and provides food for 1d8 days provided it is salted or kept with a gentle repose spell.